I talk to myself. That doesn’t look right in print, does it? But I do. From the time I wake up in the morning to the time I go to sleep at night, there’s a running commentary happening. Most of the time, it’s just in my head (though from time to time I have been known to talk to myself out loud). I feel like maybe it’s weird to be talking to myself, but really, don’t you talk to yourself too? Even a little?

 

Here’s the thing: We are verbal beings. We talk. So it’s normal to have a voice using words in our heads. Words are how we process information, either out loud or on paper. Words come at us all day long, between radio, print, social media, and television.  So when I hear the voice in my head, a lot of times it’s just part of the background. Just white noise, a little humming below all the other activity around me. And that seems like it’s ok. It’s just background noise, right?

 

 

 

Actually, it’s not just background noise. The voice in your head is you interpreting and processing what is happening in your life. Recently, I’ve started paying attention to the voice and what she’s saying to me. And it’s not always good. And when I’m checked out and busy, my voice can be saying some awful things to me!  I say things like, “Well, that was stupid. If you hadn’t done it that way this wouldn’t have happened.” Or, “You think you’d have figured this out by now.” Or, “What makes you think you know enough to help anyone?”  It’s not on purpose.  It’s just that deep inside, between the old memories, insecurities, and mistakes, my inner voice is trying to protect me from any more pain. Self preservation is an instinct. So when my conscious mind is focused elsewhere, my inner mind is running away in fear. And when the inner self is feeling small and afraid, those feelings are recorded in the mind as truth.

 

So what? What difference does it make if your mind is recording fearful feelings as truth? First, if my mind believes something is true, then I will act accordingly. If I believe that I am insignificant, weak, stupid and powerless because that’s what I’ve told myself again and again, then that is how I will see me. If you know that the world is a dark, hard, threatening place and the people in it are evil and selfish, then you will engage with your life from that perspective. It doesn’t have to be this way! If there’s one place we have the ability to change our environment, it’s in our thought lives.

 

 

Words are powerful. Words are the way we communicate, the way we send messages to ourselves and to others. I’ve decided recently that my thought life needs some spring cleaning, maybe a whole renovation! My thoughts can be very self critical and harsh. I’m negative about what I’ve done (or haven’t done), what kind of mom and wife I’ve been, how poorly I’m on top of things at work and whether I’m eating too much. And if my weight is up, forget it. I’m a disaster! The worst thing about this is that I know that if I treat myself like this, nothing good comes from me. Good fruit can’t come from the poison tree, right? Sooo, I’m going to change it. Right now. Today.

 

 

How? I know it’s not easy, because no one snaps their fingers and thinks differently. My thought patterns are a well worn groove in my brain. But I do have a couple of tools to use to lay down new, loving, positive thinking for myself. Ready for the list? Here we go!

1. I believe I’m worth it. I deserve loving, nurturing thoughts and care, just like I give to my babies.
2. Prayer. I need help to battle the dark and pain. I can’t do it alone!
3. Pay attention. If I don’t hear the thoughts, I can’t capture them and address them. I have to slow down and listen to the noise in my head instead of letting it be the white noise background.
4. Journaling. Writing helps me to sort out the whirlwind that spins in my mind so often.
5. Affirmations. I write down and repeat the better ways of thinking so I teach myself new truth.

 

How’s your inner thought life? Is it a dark, foreboding place? Or is it rich, welcoming and nurturing? I’m finished with living in a dark and critical space in my own head. It’s funny – I worked hard to make my home a warm and comfortable place, not stuffy or fussy. A place you can come in and relax without feeling like you might mess up the furniture, you know? I have a throw on every couch for naps and my colors are warm and inviting: browns, reds and yellows. I light candles and open the blinds to let in the sun. So why have I been confining myself to a cramped and negative space in my thought life? No more. I’m opening the windows and letting in the light! Here are some of my affirmations:

• I am more than enough.
• I am lovable.
• I love and nourish my body with the food I eat.
• I am open.
• I move easily and readily in love.
• Love, peace, and joy are what I know.

 

It’s not perfect, and I don’t talk to myself well all the time. But I’m learning and relearning, every time I correct a negative thought or hear myself being kind in my own head. One beautiful thing is, the more I am able to offer myself the love and grace that I need so desperately, the more I am able to pour it onto my family and friends.  As I let the light in, I let it out too!

 

 

What about you? How’s your self talk? Do you have any favorite affirmations? Please share in the comments below!