It’s six am, the thunderstorm has just passed, and there’s a hush over the house. No one else is up except me and I’d really like to crawl back into my warm bed and sleep more. My brain is up to its usual tricks, trying to convince me that I don’t need to write this post. I’ve been writing weekly for more than four years, so maybe that’s enough? It’s not as though my posts have gone viral and I have sponsors paying me to get these posts out, so if I skip a week or stop blogging altogether then no big loss, right? My YouTube video is already out for the week and that seems to be going well, so maybe I should just focus on recording videos – at least that’s done in the light of day instead of before dawn.
It’s a good thing I’m watching my brain.
This is an example of what I mean by being in the cave. It’s hiding, going for what’s small and easy and comfortable instead of being willing to try and not see immediate success. Because I know my brain wants to conserve energy and stay safe, I’ve learned to catch it trying to shift my plans from what’s best to what’s easy. It’s very adept at finding all the reasons why the easy way is the right way, just like I did above. There were even more reasons, like the fact that today is my day off, and although I have a massive list of to-dos, I have the whole day and the kids will be at their homeschool group so I could definitely write this later. So why am I up now?
If I go back to sleep, my brain wants to convince me that I’ll be more rested and efficient later today. Surely I’ll have plenty of time while the kids are in class to get lots done. But here’s what will actually happen: The kids will oversleep, and I’ll be rushing around trying to get them to school with their lunches and books and masks, and by the time I sit down it’ll be about an hour later than I planned. Then I’ll spend my hour planning out the rest of the week and because I have coaching clients to meet with I’ll realize that my wide-open day is actually only a few unscheduled hours before the kids return. Those hours will be quickly assigned to the aforementioned to-do list items, and before I know it the kids will be back. Dinner plans will be approaching and then I’ll be meeting with my last coaching client. See, the day went by really fast!
It’s always a mistake to trust your brain to make the best decisions on the fly instead of planning ahead. Because our brains are designed for efficiency and energy conservation, the default settings are not in favor of well-thought-out plans because they take more work and energy. So how do we get ourselves to get out of the cave mode and back onto implementing our plans and goals? I have a few tactics for you…
Let’s zero in on your target…
Plan in advance.
It’s best to use your most advanced brain functions to work on your goals, and that’s your planning brain. That part of your brain is called the prefrontal cortex and it allows you to make future plans. Your puppy can’t do this higher brain function, but you can. It takes energy and your brain will resist and try to convince you that you can figure things out as they come. Don’t be fooled – decisions in the moment are made by a different part of your brain and it’s not as good at choosing the best option for your future. When you plan in advance, you have your highest good in mind. If you’re trying to lose weight, you plan your meals in advance with the goal in mind. Your plan gets highjacked when you try to decide in the moment if the doughnuts in the office can be added to the plan.
Watch your brain
Once you’ve made the plan, you think that’s the end of the story. But there’s another part of your brain that despite your excellent planning will get involved and try to change the plan. It’s not that your primitive brain doesn’t want you to succeed, but it wants you to be comfortable more than it wants you to grow. Growing and changing requires you to come out of the cave, and that’s scary and threatening to the primitive brain that wants you to stay safe. So when you make the plan, expect that when you get to the part where you have to execute the plan, you won’t want to do it. This is normal. You have to practice overriding the impulses from your primitive brain that want to convince you away from the plan. When you do this (especially at first), your brain will fight back with more reasons why you should chuck the plan. Notice all the chatter against your well-thought-out plan. Just know that your brain is trying to keep you safe and do what you planned anyway.
Trust your future self
One of the benefits of planning in advance is that you get to decide what you want and make it happen. You get the opportunity to envision who you will be in the future and create her. You meet who you will be in your mind and by taking day-by-day steps, you become her. The you who is 20 pounds lighter? She’s the one who’s helping you meal-plan. The you with a successful business? She’s the one who told you to set your alarm for 5:30 am and get up and write before the kids get up. She has your goals and dreams in mind when you plan. Trust her.
Stick to the plan
When you wake up and your brain wants to convince you that you can sleep 30 more minutes – don’t. When you think that one slice of cake from the farewell party at work won’t matter – it does. Remember that your brain always wants to conserve energy and do what’s easy, so expect it to resist when you get to the work you’ve planned. When you deviate from your plan, you’ll always get a lesser result than if you’d done what your planning brain had in mind. Know that when you made your plan, you had your highest good in mind. The more you practice making the plan absolute, the less your brain will think that your plan is optional. That means you’ll get less mental chatter and resistance (not none), and you’ll be able to do what you planned more easily. When you stick to your plan, you get closer to your goal. Add all the forward steps together, and you’ll make it!
Learning this practice is excellent for reaching your goals, but it can be tricky to retrain your brain without help. That’s what coaching is for – I can help you! Email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and let’s set up a time to show you how coaching can help you finally achieve your goals – you don’t have to do it alone!
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