It just doesn’t make sense. It’s been a good week both with the kids and their homeschool and at work. Even the hospital was extra reasonable! I’m going on a tropical vacation for a few days, the back to school shopping is done (for now), and there are lots of groceries in the house.  So why am I feeling so crazy?

 

Sometimes I feel like I just run from one urgent situation to another, and whatever screams the loudest gets my attention. Squeaky wheel and all that, I guess. But the problem is that in the background, the quiet things are slowly building up until they become the next fire to put out. Good example: Even though I got the groceries, the school supplies (and ordered what I couldn’t find in the store), had the workbooks spiral bound and covered at Kinko’s, and got the car washed, I also know that my son has no long pants other than his sweats that fit. In the back of my mind, I’m quite sure that even though I haven’t taken inventory (because I know what I’ll find out), the other kids are going to need school clothes and shoes. And even though I bought two bunches of bananas two days ago, there’s only one left. I’m teaching on meditation tonight at church (shouldn’t I be peaceful first?) and my lesson needs to be written down. The storage closet in the basement is trashed, and who’s gonna have to get that reorganized? There’s more, but really, I’m getting anxious just writing this.

 

Who’s gonna clean that up? Oh, right…

 

And then last night, my husband said something that just set me off. He went to Costco (for which I’m very grateful!) and came home with all the stuff on the list. I was braiding my oldest’s hair when he got back, so the other kids helped put away the supplies. When I saw him later, he was aggravated about a part of the backyard fence that fell down (again!), and he mentioned that the freezers were too full to put the food he bought in easily and it was irritating to him. You know what that meant to me? That meant I needed to clean out the freezers. Why? Because I manage the procurement and storage of food. Not that he can’t – it’s just my job. And since we went plant based and no one is particularly interested in the meats anymore, my freezers are too full of food that no one is eating. And here’s the thing: I knew it was a problem. But I hadn’t gotten around to it because of all the other more urgent issues. I probably should have just taken note of the situation and put “clean the freezers out” on a list somewhere, but I got mad. I felt criticized and overwhelmed, and my go-to emotion that is most familiar and comfortable is self-righteous anger. Now, I didn’t fly off the handle (this time), but I left the room and went to my closet alone to pack without saying anything. At the moment, that was the best thing (so I didn’t say something ugly), but in the end I spent the evening by myself packing when I’d rather have enjoyed the first night of my time away from work hanging out with him.

 

Ready to go in the suitcase…

 

So what do you do when you feel crazy and overwhelmed? It’s tough, and there are many ways to cope. Some people drink, some watch TV or escape into sleep, some run as hard as they can until the list is done, even if that means less sleep that they need and sacrificing any fun and relaxation (guilty!). But here’s what we forget: We get done what we need to, not because we are so organized or amazing, but because we are provided for. I got the shopping done because God gave me the means (time and money) to get when was needed.  The instructions I needed for school preparation came at the right time, and I was able to get copies of the maps and the workbooks spiral bound because I knew where I could get it done fast and had the time to go. There are weeks that there wouldn’t have been an opportunity, or I’d have been running out when the kids went to bed. But I didn’t because God moved things into the place they needed to be. So even if I hadn’t anticipated having to address this set of situations this week, He knew I would need to, and he made it all come together.

So instead of staying overwhelmed and frustrated, I went back to what works every time – getting connected and grateful. Meditation was first – listening for God’s voice was what I really needed to move through the day. Sometimes my idea of what has to happen today isn’t really what needs to happen. Sometimes I make myself crazy with my own assignments, when God doesn’t expect me to do everything I think is important. Then I wrote a bunch of things I thought of to be thankful for in my gratitude journal. I also sat down and got some work done, and I’ll add the less urgent to-dos to a list. But I will continue to remember that I’m in the right moment right now for what needs to be done, to talk to the people I’m near, to be in the place I find myself right now. Because this is where and when God has me, it’s not a mistake. God sends the resources and the time windows to get it all done. My only real task is to accept the assignments as they come, and pray to see what I’m sent as the gifts that they are meant to be.

 

 

Gratitude is the antidote to overwhelm.  When I feel overloaded, counting my blessings is what helps me to see all the good and gifts in my life. So I’ll keep practicing!

 

What about you? How do you deal with feeling overwhelmed? Please share in the comments below!