No, not that question! That’s got to be the number one most annoying question to any parent on a road trip with kids. You want to just say, “Does this stretch of asphalt look like our beach/mountain/getaway? Would you like to have me let you out here?” No, I wouldn’t really leave my kid out on the highway. And truly, I get it, because I don’t particularly like long car rides either: I can’t sleep in the car, reading for too long makes me nauseous, and besides I just wanna get there already! Just like the kids…

 

It’s funny. Sometimes I feel so far away from being a child that I can’t relate to what they’re worried about. I promised myself when I was a kid that I’d remember when I was the adult, but it isn’t always happening. The car ride thing is a good example, because I know now how to take things to entertain myself and not worry about how long it’s taking to get there. There’s always food if I need it, we stop if I need to use the bathroom, and eventually we get there. Whining about it doesn’t get us there faster, so I can’t understand why kids bother fussing about it. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.

 

 

If I want to be truthful about it, I’m not a good example of this in my normal life. But like any good adult, I certainly take it up a few notches. Let me explain. We are preparing for a family trip to the beach soon. Of course, this involves planning and list-making and packing, not to mention tying up loose ends at work and at home. All I want to do is make it to D-Day – the day we depart for the beach! So I burn through the days leading up to the break, hair on fire, thinking that I can just enjoy myself when we get outta town. And what about all the non-work projects I haven’t gotten to yet? Maybe I should spend some of the vacation making some progress on those. Should I take my laptop?

 

 

And then we get to the beach house and I rush around thinking about meal plans and activities and clean up, and all the time I’m counting the days I have left before I have to go back to work. Before I know it, it’s the day before we leave and I’m not sure I even had a vacation. Now two weeks have flown by and I’m dreading going back to the hustle of catching up on the work I missed while I was out. Where did all the time go?

 

I just spent two weeks in three places: getting there, getting back home, and getting back into work. And not one of them was the place I actually was at the time my mind was in each of those places. When I was getting there, I was at home with a happy healthy family, a good job, a wonderful home and delicious food, but my mind was on the day we were leaving town, so I didn’t enjoy any of those good things. When I’m on the vacation, I’m so busy watching the time fly by and thinking about how few days are left, I’m not sitting in the moments that I have right then. Dreading the inevitable catch up time at work is a painful place to be.  When I get it done it never seems to be as bad as I anticipated, but I spent all this angst worrying about it while I could have been wondering at the beautiful stones and shells on the sand.

 

 

The hard truth of the whole thing is that I do this all the time. Not just around vacations. I can be eating dinner and thinking about how to get the laundry done and when I have time to get to the grocery store this week. I’ll sit down to enjoy a rare moment of TV with my husband and worry about how to register for my upcoming medical conference. There’s a time for planning and getting things done, for sure. But when I spend each moment I have working, planning or thinking about working or planning, I’m not actually present. I’m not even there, because my mind is in another time altogether, either future or past.

 

 

So what? Maybe I get a lot done and I can take satisfaction in the accomplishment. I guess. At this point in my life though, I’m starting to feel time move. I could be halfway through my life by now. I’m not really interested in speeding through with my mind running at top speed only to look up at the end and realize that I missed it. It’s possible I’ll have gotten a lot done, but I missed all the moments along the way.

My practice now is to be in the moment. I’m trying to spend less time asking “Am I there yet?” and more time experiencing the place I’m in right now. It’s a challenge, especially when I don’t like where I am at the moment. Sometimes, I’d rather not be uncomfortable or busy or tired. Yet even in those moments I can take a deep breath and feel my lungs fill up and empty. I can feel my feet in my soft slippers and wiggle my toes. I can taste the soup in my mouth and feel the warmth filling my stomach, instead of looking up and realizing the food is gone and I didn’t get to enjoy it. It’s an effort! My mind is very used to that pattern of working out what’s next, and not so facile at staying put for a minute or two. But I keep reminding myself, and each time I do, I experience another moment of my life. Each of these moments is my life. There will always be more to accomplish, to create, to do. But each moment getting there is the journey, and they are definitely as good as the destination!

 

 

What about you – do you rush through the moments in your life? Have you found a way to enjoy and experience your moments? Please share in the comments below!