This was my birthday week!

 

Now, I know that my birthday isn’t actually the national holiday I’d like it to be, but I certainly take it seriously. It’s not the same kind of excitement I had as a kid, as if every year I was reaching some magical milestone, but it’s still my special day. My first year out of training I forgot to ask for my birthday off from work, and I promised I’d never do that again. Now that the kids can go away to camp, I’ve started taking the whole week off!

 

The vegan cake one of my besties made me for my birthday – it was incredible!

 

Since we have a trip coming up in August, we decided to staycation this week. I generally try to take some time off once a quarter, but there wasn’t anything available with the timeshare in September and we needed to use those points. So August it is. I figured we’d hang out at the neighborhood pool, go to the coffee shop, eat out for dinners and generally take it easy. We did need to be close to home for the puppy, but home is really restful with just the two of us. so no problem, right?

Not exactly. The first problem was when my husband found out he’d have to work all week. I was upset at first – I mean, why didn’t his office understand that it was my birthday? But then I figured I could just do whatever I wanted and it would be like a mini solo retreat. So, no problem! Then the weather report came out, forecasting rain most of the week. There went the plans for laying around the pool. And then I got sick and lost my voice.

What kind of birthday week was this? First of all, I rarely get sick and when I do, I’m over it in three days. And I’ve never lost my voice before. This was not what I had in mind for my week off – being alone, sick, and I couldn’t even speak! My first instinct was to get discouraged and sad. Then I thought about it and realized that God was doing something…

 

 

The week before I was scheduled to be off, this scripture came up multiple times. I’d been asking God to help me make a decision that I knew I needed to make, but I wasn’t sure which way to go. Since I believe one way God speaks to us is through scripture, I take it seriously when one comes to me repeatedly. Once I was clear on my direction, I knew it was time to move on from where I’ve been. What was coming next wasn’t clear to me, but I knew it was something.

Here’s where I messed up: I didn’t see the signals to be still. Looking back, I thought I’d just barrel along into my week off and fill it with celebratory activities. When I got slowed down by the cold and the rain and losing my voice, I just got irritated instead of being grateful for the quiet direction I was getting. I did what I could, I read and rested and meditated, but I really was just looking for the clouds to clear out and for my stuffiness and sore throat to get better!

 

I did read some fun books while I rested – just borrowed the kid’s library books!

 

The problem was that I had an agenda; I had a list. There were things I planned on doing, and I didn’t want a cold, weather, or anything else to get in the way of my vision. Anything that was going to stand in the way of what I thought was best was at best an irritation, and at worse a mood destroyer.  When I realized that my cold wasn’t going to be gone for my birthday, the rain was coming anyway, and my husband actually was going to work all week, I had a choice to make. I could fight what was happening and be resentful, or I could let it unfold and enjoy the good that was there in the moments. What I didn’t believe was that despite all the signs to the contrary, the week could be all I had hoped and more.

 

(I actually got to do everything on this list this week…)

 

Here’s the up side: I learned something. When I get sick, it’s always a sign that I need to slow down. I only get sick when I’ve been pushing too hard, missing out on sleep, and not giving my body what it needs to run well. So it downshifts for me. This time, I really didn’t like the timing of my cold (not that another time would have been appreciated!), so I just tried to ignore the whole thing and keep going. What I learned was that there is no wrong timing. Everything is happening as it should, whether it is hard or not. I needed the quiet this week, and even though I resisted it and didn’t take what was given, I’ve picked up a lot of what I needed to because of the way God designed my week. I couldn’t help it! And even though I’m not crystal clear on what my next move is, I don’t have to be. When I need to know, I’ll find out. And if it takes stillness and rest to know, it’ll be provided. It always is. The trick is remembering that I’m cared for by God, and that everything works out as it should, whether it looks the way I think it should or not.

In the end, I feel better, it’s been a great week, and I feel peaceful about how the week has turned out. And that’s a good place to be!

 

Do you find yourself resisting the way your life is going? How do you find peace in it? Please share in the comments below!