I wrote this post a few years ago, but learning how to unblock yourself is just as important today as it was back then. Are you stuck on the scale? Frustrated by your lack of progress? Before you get down on yourself and start trying to whip yourself into shape (or stay stuck in frustration), try this way of getting yourself unstuck. It works better, I promise!

Also, the link to my Hormones and Weight Loss video series is at the bottom of the post too!

 

I haven’t been feeling right all week.

It feels like I’ve lived a month in the past week. So many things have happened! We hired a new teacher and were without a teacher (or childcare) for 1 week. We have transferred homeschool communities and that’s almost taken an act of Congress, between all the conflicting information and conversations. We figured out my oldest was skipping over the math work she didn’t understand, so my husband and I have both been math tutors this week. I received my life coach certification (yay!) and got my business structure created for the coaching business (double yay!). And, I’ve been gearing up for the business building portion of this year, which includes two courses: a traditional online coach business building one and an online course building academy, both which started Monday of this week – the same day my new teacher started with us.

I’m so tired.

Now, I’m very tempted to blame my exhaustion on these circumstances. And while it’s true that I haven’t gotten as much sleep as I generally need to feel normal, it’s not why you’d think. I’ve been running and it’s been very busy, but that’s not the problem. I’ve been waking up waaaay too early, my mind has been racing around all the details that need to be handled, I’ve had this terrible intense back pain, and I’ve had a mild headache on and off all week. When I started having extra trouble with settling my mind I realized what the problem was.

 

 

I’d let go of managing my mind.

Here’s the thing: I’ve been coaching and meditating and working with my mind long enough that I can recognize where my misery comes from. I’m very quick to see the thoughts that aren’t useful and work toward a different kind of thought. But I’m also like everyone else – when things get really busy, the “optional” stuff falls off my to-do list. Somehow, my brain decided that doing thought work wasn’t needed in the midst of several big transitions in my life.

Big mistake.

Not managing my mind is always going to lead to a place I don’t want to be. On a daily basis, I need to clean up my thinking, tune into what my mind is offering, and choose intentional ways of thinking so that I can move forward in the way that I’m called. Not doing my mind work is self-sabotage, because my brain will always veer toward the most common patterns of thinking I’ve practiced in the past. If I want to grow, I have to practice new thinking which takes work. So when I looked at my e-journal and realized I hadn’t been writing on my gratitude list or doing my thought downloads for weeks, I knew instantly why I was feeling so badly. My brain was in charge of me instead of the other way around.

 

 

 

Here’s the thing: the brain is an excellent secretary. It does good work on any assignment you give it. But the mind is a terrible master. It wants to protect you, keep you safe, and will not voluntarily put you in any situation that it believes is a threat, real or perceived. The brain also likes to conserve energy, so it will always go with the path of least resistance. That means thinking old thoughts. That’s how you get in a rut – the brain finds this an easy place to go. And if you don’t like it, well at least it’s familiar.  If you want to grow and change, your brain has to expend more energy and this is harder. You have to direct the mind to spend the energy or it will stay in default mode. Your brain will find the ways of doing and thinking that you’ve already practiced. This is what I was doing.

What I did made perfect sense. I had a bunch of new and some unexpected tasks to handle and I started thinking that it was too much. That caused me to feel overwhelmed (that feeling never takes you anywhere!), and I started worrying. I started snacking and eating salty and sugary junk food, and I kept looking at my to-do list with despair, thinking I’d never get it done, that I’d taken on too much, and that I just couldn’t handle it all.

Here’s what was different this time: I feel compassion for my brain. Of course my mind was overwhelmed! I let it step into the role of master which it isn’t designed to fill. I stopped taking care of it and cleaning it up with thought work, so the thoughts kept piling up, and the way my mind chose to manage was to go into default worry and overwhelm.

Instead of reminding myself as the changes came that I needed more mind management, I got into execution mode. I focused on the tasks more than the thinking that would help me not only get the tasks done but feel great about the work that it took to complete them. Usually, I would beat myself up, pointing out every mistake and tell myself how stupid it was for me to do it this way. Then I’d go into my impostor mode, wondering why I think I can guide or coach anyone if I’m not doing a perfect job for myself. By the end of it all, I’d feel so low and small that I’d be ready to cancel any plans or creations I’d started and be wondering why God would even trust me with the family and job and friends that I have now. Yep, I’d really go there.

Not this time.

 

 

This time I took a mental step back. I noticed what had happened and I looked at my mind with interest, wondering quietly to myself why my default is to let go of what helps me. When I realized that this was just a learned pattern, a practice that I’ve repeated for years, and that I’m still learning to make my default thinking more patient and kind to myself, it was much easier to start again.

Gently, I picked myself up and dusted myself off, and changed the way I planned to approach the work ahead. It wasn’t that the work had changed or that the circumstances were different. The way I was going to get it done was different. Yes, I’d have to adjust my plan, but the most important thing was that I would move ahead with love and compassion for myself. I’m doing a lot – aren’t you? Getting it all done and beating yourself down in the process is a terrible combination. For me, moving ahead had to include five or ten minutes a day to dump out my thoughts in written form and recognize what my brain was worrying about. I needed to take a moment regularly to feel my feelings instead of rushing through tasks to stuff the feelings down. There are lots of things to do and many other people to take care of, but I am at my best for all of them when I take care of my mind first.

 

 

How are you doing with caring for yourself and your mind? Sometimes it’s a challenge to do alone, but that’s what a coach is for! Let me know in the comments how I can help!

If you already KNOW you want help to manage that beautiful brain of yours and you’re ready to get moving, schedule your free session here or email me at drandreachristianparks@gmail.com and let’s get going!

 

Here’s the next episode in the Weight and Hormones series – more help for your journey!