It’s week three on our hero’s journey and I’m glad you’re here! If this is the first post you’re reading, you might want to go back to week one and catch up – the discussion about you being a hero in your weight loss journey might not make as much sense if you don’t…

 

In any case, I want to take this week to get you in touch with a superpower that you have that you’re not likely using for yourself. But you DO have it, you use it all the time, and you know how to access it. You just haven’t been using it for yourself. What magical superpower do you need to succeed in permanent weight loss?

 

COMPASSION.

 

What does compassion have to do with weight loss? Well, think about how we generally approach weight loss. We get disgusted with ourselves because the scale went up or our clothes don’t fit and we decide that we HAVE to get this weight thing under control. We say really ugly things to ourselves (and since this is a PG-rated blog, I won’t use the words, but you know what they are). Whatever you wouldn’t say to someone else out loud (fat, stupid, ugly, ridiculous), that’s how you talk to yourself.

You do it because you think that whipping yourself into shape is what you have to do to be successful. Of course you think that – it’s worked in the past for other goals you’ve accomplished! Whatever degree or certification or other goals you’ve set, staying on top of yourself has been the way you’ve gotten to the finish line. So it makes sense that your brain would try to use the same tool when you set a weight loss goal.

How’s that been going so far?

Not well, I bet. The reason it doesn’t work is that achieving permanent weight loss is different than a short-term goal. Even if you earned your Ph.D. and worked for years toward that goal, weight loss is still different. You will live in your body as long as you’re alive, so you need an approach that you can live with for the duration. So whipping yourself into shape works for diets, but not for long-term change.

Here’s where compassion comes in. When you work toward a permanent weight loss goal, you’re going to make mistakes. Berating yourself every time you have a slip-up is only going to make you feel discouraged and MORE likely to quit, not less. Talking to yourself with understanding and kindness is required – you need it to keep moving ahead.

The trouble is that we’ve learned how to be compassionate to other people, but we’re really hard on ourselves. We love up on people when they have setbacks, challenges, illnesses, or deaths in their families. We send cards, texts, and meals. We pray for them. We check on them. So we absolutely know how to use our compassion for others. Now we need to practice using it on ourselves. We can learn to be compassionate to ourselves too!

 

Let me give you two examples of our heroes using compassion as a superpower.

First, Shuri in Wakanda Forever. Remember at the end when she had the chance to destroy the leader of the water world whose vibranium was also threatened? Instead of ending his life, she chose to spare him and create an alliance. How much more powerful was that connection and alliance than the destruction she could have chosen to inflict upon him?

Second, remember when Moana finally got to Tefiti and realized that the monster Ta-ka she was trying to was really Tefiti corrupted by the loss of her heart? She saw Ta-ka and knew who she really was. It was her compassion for the harm done to Ta-ka that allowed her to see what happened and how to stop fighting and restore the heart of Tefiti. Once she looked at Ta-ka with eyes of compassion, she knew what to do to create the restoration. Restoration, sis! Isn’t that what we need?

 

Be kind to yourself. Offer yourself compassion when you make mistakes. I know you think you’ll just get lazy and complacent, but you’ll actually get back on track faster than if you have to battle your judgment and condemnation before you get started again.

This is the work I do with my clients. The entire second half of my course is all about the sneaky sabotaging thoughts we have that derail our weight loss. And if you’re looking for this kind of help, my course registration for Weight Loss For Black Professionals is opening on Thursday, March 23rd with my webinar! I’m teaching Weight Loss Without Willpower and I’ll tell you about the course at the end of this free class. Get registered for the webinar here – can’t wait to see you!

If you can’t make it live, you can get the replay by email, but only if you sign up with your email address. But if you attend live, I’m offering special bonuses to people who sign up for the course at the webinar. And if you already know you have to have a spot in the course, sign up at www.drandreachristianparks.com for the Weight Loss for Black Professionals course starting on March 23rd. Registration is only open for one week, so don’t miss it!

 

Here’s more support for you to use your compassion superpower for yourself…