The Gift In The Struggle

This weekend was our 17th wedding anniversary. It’s hard to believe that it’s been 17 years! But when I look at these big kids walking around in my house and I know they weren’t here when we started our life together, it makes more sense that it’s been more time than they’ve been around.

We usually go away for a weekend getaway to spend time away from the kids. But this year with COVID, we didn’t have an option to leave the kids. There just wasn’t anyone that we felt either that we would ask to take the risk of staying with the kids or that wouldn’t add risk to our house by keeping the kids. When he found an available little house in a nearby retreat community, we decided to go anyway. With the kids.

Now, I had my misgivings about the plan. Taking the kids would require more planning, more food preparation, more noise, and less rest, uninterrupted time alone, and general peace and quiet. But he said he would make a plan with the kids to keep them occupied and besides, the alternative was staying home with no romantic getaway. So that’s how our four kids went on our anniversary weekend.

 

Stowaways…

 

It was different. I don’t know what I expected exactly, but I think that I thought it wouldn’t feel like a retreat because they were along for the ride. There were definitely some noisy arguments and messy kitchen issues. But actually, they did a decent job of trying to make themselves scarce so we could be alone. It helped that the retreat community was very safe and quiet and they could go off into the walking trails and explore on their own. He and I went out on walks alone, and ate our lunch alone on the patio, and wandered the wood trails together. There were many lovely peaceful moments and I didn’t want to come home.

One of my favorite times we spent was at the labyrinth in the community. This double labyrinth is one of the largest and most beautiful I’ve seen, surrounded by trees and built of stone. I’ve had deep communion with God each time I’ve gone here, even though I always question if I will learn anything new every time I enter it. If you haven’t walked a labyrinth, I wrote a whole post about them here. Before I entered the labyrinth, I prayed for God to come and be with me and show me what I needed to know. As I meandered the path of the labyrinth, insight after lesson after blessing came to me. I’ll have to write a part two about some of it! But as I turned back and forth through the curves, I could see my husband standing off at a close distance, praying, and having his own time of retreat and communion.  This is the scripture that God spoke to me:

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matt 7:11

 

 

Sometimes we forget the gifts that we’ve been given. It’s so easy to forget in the midst of all the things we worry about every day. I remember the days when I was begging in prayer on my face in my closet for my husband. Watching him around the labyrinth reminded me all over again of the gift that he is to me. When I remember him as my gift, it’s as though I receive the gift all over again! Other gifts we get don’t seem like gifts at the time. Sometimes the gift looks like a struggle or challenge, and until it works and grows in us, we don’t see it as a gift. Right now, the work of building my business and starting a whole new unfamiliar venture doesn’t always seem exciting and fun – sometimes it doesn’t feel like a gift. But I can see glimpses of how the struggle is designed to grow in me the character that I need, and for that I’m grateful. The work and struggle means I’m not forgotten. It means there’s more in me to become. It means I’m being called to more.

Can you see your struggles that way? Are you able to see how your battle with weight may be the thing that grows and changes you forever? What if raising your children and staying close to your spouse develops you into a more loving and patient person, the one you really want to be?

 

 

We think that if we work hard enough, keep trying, change things over and over until we get them just right, eventually, we will arrive.  There is no arriving – we are always on the journey. If we wait to arrive, we don’t enjoy the in-between times, which is most of our lives. We should and do enjoy the accomplishments and achievements! Learning to enjoy the pathway takes more work, but the reward is loving the life you have right now.

It can be easier said than done to learn to think this way. I can help with that! If you’ve been curious about how a life coach can help you love your life and move forward much faster than you’ve been able to do on your own, email me at drandreachristiaparks@gmail.com and we’ll set up a mini-session!

 

Here’s this week’s installment of my Weight Loss Mindset series – join me!

 

4 Comments

  • Gina D
    Posted November 13, 2020 11:06 pm 0Likes

    This is great! I had a Siloam moment in the last week. Mostly struggling to understand my child, and feeling the heaviness of my responsibilities- but I stopped and took a moment to reflect on my life. The gift that the child is to me and that my life is so much richer with her in it. Thank you for sharing Andrea!

  • Gina D
    Posted November 13, 2020 11:08 pm 0Likes

    Siloam=similar😊

  • Khahlikah
    Posted January 5, 2021 5:56 pm 0Likes

    I can very much relate as well! I’m finding myself in an unfamiliar place with understanding my teenager and trying to have balance and understanding with raising her. But I so agree, she is a gift and my life would be empty without her! I also learning to love where I am in life as I continue on the path to get to where I want to be!

    • Andrea Christian Parks
      Posted January 5, 2021 6:03 pm 0Likes

      Thank you for sharing! It can feel so isolating when we’re working through hard things, especially when we see all the good things people share on social media. But the truth is that we all are working through life. I’m here for the ride with you!

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