Christmas has come and gone again! Now onto birthday season…

 

The first of the kids’ birthday is Sunday, and the next three follow in January. I’m done shopping for birthday gifts, the party planning for the twin’s 10th birthday is underway, and everyone is enjoying their Christmas gifts. It was a good Christmas at the Parks home. But that doesn’t mean everything was picture perfect. Let me share it with you…

 

 

Remember when I said last week that I was going to watch a Christmas movie on Christmas Eve instead of staying up late wrapping presents? Well, that didn’t happen. I did get all the presents wrapped early and the movie plan was still on, but then we decided to go out to dinner on Christmas Eve. We waited more than an hour for a table and the food took an hour to come, so by the time we got home it was a mad dash to put out the cookies for Santa and shuffle the kids to bed. They were instructed to stay in their rooms until 8 am or later with the stockings they knew were coming from Santa. I went to the basement to do one last thing, and watched a few minutes of stand up comedy. Not quite what I had in mind…

 

Before dawn on Christmas morning I woke up, still sleepy. I was tempted to turn over and go back to sleep, but I heard that small voice. Didn’t I ask for some quiet time before the busy morning started? So, I crept downstairs to the sunroom and sat in the corner chair with the space heater pointed at my feet. I sat quietly, listening to God and thinking about the gift of Jesus. I waited until the sun rose enough so I could see the words on the pages of my book and read until the kids came down. I put the Christmas breakfast casserole in the oven and we made some coffee for the grownups. The Christmas cookie stars we had left over from Santa were sugar free and low carb, so I let them eat the cookies with their breakfast (they thought they were getting away with a special treat!). We played Christmas music and opened presents. It was a mostly happy morning, with excitement over the gifts and only a little confusion and chaos.

 

In the sunroom at sunrise…

 

After the gift opening was done, the kids wandered around playing with their toys and I laced up my sneakers. It was a beautiful sunny day, and I wanted to get some air. As I was getting ready to go, an argument broke out and the little one started crying. She couldn’t do whatever it was that the big kids were doing and she was frustrated. So I gathered her in my arms and whispered that if she didn’t tell the big kids (they’d be sad they couldn’t go), then she could walk with me. She brightened up and ran off for her sneakers.

I didn’t think she would be able to keep up with me (I walk fast!). But I think she could have gotten to the end of the neighborhood and back before me if I’d let her go as fast as she wanted. She mostly ran the whole way and kept circling back to me. We saw our neighbors pushing strollers and walking dogs and greeted each with a smile and “Merry Christmas!”. I love spending that one-on-one time with the kids. It’s one of the few times I get to hear what they think individually. And the little one never stops talking! It was a peaceful walk.

 

 

Now, I did what I said I would and ordered most of our dinner from Whole Foods. I made my own gluten free mac and cheese, cornbread stuffing, gravy and cranberry sauce, but I’d done that all in advance, so I didn’t have any real cooking to do. I was skeptical about the prepared meal from the store, but I was shocked at how good it was! Not like the Whole Foods buffet at all. And instead of being in the kitchen all afternoon, I spent about an hour warming and putting out the food. Even though everyone enjoyed the food and it was tons easier, my oldest quietly came to me later and said she really liked my cooking best. So I’ll still probably cook most things for our holiday and Sunday dinners, but it’s nice to know that I have options if I need to work a holiday or just don’t want to cook it all. Time to eat!

 

 

Then we hit a snag. The kids started fighting about who was first to serve their plate, one got an attitude after being corrected, and Daddy went off to do some more in depth counseling with the frustrated child. I was helping get everyone settled when I realized that they hadn’t come back to the kitchen to eat. Now, I was getting frustrated! Maybe I didn’t cook everything, but I did make sure it was all hot at the same time and now the food was getting cold. If they didn’t get downstairs soon, Christmas dinner would be ruined.

So I walked upstairs to see if I could help with the resolution and save Christmas dinner. I opened the bedroom door and walked into a standoff. And that’s when I made a crucial mistake: I tried to soften the situation and speed up the resolution. Needless to say, my husband did not need my help and was offended that I tried to intervene. With some quick backpedalling and apologies, I left them to find their resolution. With that, I made my plate and went to the table to find the oldest two girls finished and away from the table, one with a stomachache from eating too fast. I gave up on having dinner all together on Christmas.

 

Every moment isn’t fun and exciting and joyful. Some of the moments are disappointing and hard. I find myself trying to get away from the discomfort of the difficult moments by looking for a solution or a fix. It was interesting to watch the kids during this week with them – they’re doing the same thing. They are looking for one good moment to follow the next, and they have very little tolerance for boredom or frustration. I took away a toy from one of them who wouldn’t help when asked, because the toy was more interesting than helping out. When I asked that irritated little person what they thought they should do, the answer I got was “Go read.” Which is a loved activity in this house. I thought it was very telling that instead of understanding that an apology was next, the thought was to substitute another activity for the one that had just been taken away. We do it too – watch TV, movies, videos, read books, do something distracting instead of figuring out how to live in the discomfort of the hard moment. When I offended my husband, I wanted to figure out how to smooth it over as fast as possible. But instead I went, made my apology, acknowledged my mistake, and stepped back and waited. I had to take a few deep breaths – this was not going the way I wanted it! I needed to wait and meditate through it. Sometimes, that’s what we need, even more than for the discomfort to go away. We need to sit and be uncomfortable for a minute, breathe, and know it will pass. And it will, even without distractions, alcohol, or other escapes.

 

In the end, it all worked out. Daddy and the errant child worked everything out, and then came to me and we all hugged. Daddy called the big girls back to the table and everyone sat down to Christmas dinner together. We enjoyed my mom’s homemade lemon meringue pie and watched the rest of White Christmas together before bed. Daddy did the dishes (yay!), and there were plenty of leftovers for another day. It was actually a wonderful day!

 

 

What do you do when you have difficult moments? Do you self medicate with distractions? Please share in the comments below!