It all started with the eclipse…

 

So, a few weeks ago we started talking about seeing the eclipse. We knew we lived close to the zone of the total eclipse, and we thought it might be a fun experience. Then Perry watched a TED talk that convinced him (and then me) that it was a no-to-be-missed event. I had the day off anyway and he was able to adjust his work schedule, so it seemed like God wanted us to take the kids to see this glorious event as a family. We thought we’d drive up the night before and stay somewhere, watch the eclipse, and drive home after.  As soon as we started looking for places to stay, we realized what a big deal this really was. There was nothing available – not a hotel room, campsite, or room for rent anywhere in a reasonable driving distance. Apparently, people planned years in advance to be at this thing. Who knew? We made some calls and the day before we needed to go, a family at our church in Columbia SC offered to host us overnight. We packed up the stuff and the kids and hit the road.

 

 

We spent the night in South Carolina and had a fun time getting to know this remarkably hospitable, loving, and interesting family. They prepared dinner for us, cleared their living room for the seven of us to have a place to sleep, and spent the evening sharing their home. Dad was a gentle giant who welcomed us in and made smoked pork for our dinner together.  Mom was a gardener, old fashioned scratch cook and homemade bread and soap maker. Their son was an accountant and writer with an amazing character voice, and their daughter was a fun college student who shared her bearded dragon with the kids. We got up the next morning, had breakfast and headed out to find our spot.

 

We ended up at a park near the highway, thinking we’d need to hit the road as soon as the eclipse was over. We ate lunch and laid around watching the progress of the moon across the sun with our eclipse glasses. About an hour before the total eclipse, the clouds moved in. Right over the sun. And they didn’t move.

 

 

We thought about leaving and driving further down the road away from the clouds, but we didn’t. I’m not sure why, other than we didn’t know where we’d go. I kept thinking that God could move the clouds, and surely he would, because he wanted us to see this, right? But that’s not how it happened. Perry and I were incredibly frustrated. The kids cried. It was not what we had hoped for, not by a long shot. So, we packed up and drove home. Our two hour drive home became a grueling five hour ordeal because of the traffic. We stopped at a Starbucks to get Perry a little caffeine to help on the drive, and as I waited at one of the tables, kids surrounding me, I teared up and started to cry. Why did we go through all this and still not see the eclipse?

 

In the midst of the planning for the trip to SC, I was working on multiple projects on my computer: schedules for work, email catchup, blog stuff. The computer started running slow and nothing I did would get it going again. So I did a hard restart. And the computer wouldn’t. It tried, but it just kept cutting off before it booted up completely. Now, this is a nine year old laptop, so of course something could go wrong at any moment. So you’d think I’d have backed up everything on a drive somewhere, right? Nope. I might be good at some things, but technology, not so much. So yeah, that was stupid, but I hadn’t backed up the computer, probably ever. So I broke out in a sweat, realizing I just lost 9 years of data in one moment. We immediately jumped into recovery mode and Perry stayed up late trying to get help from websites and whatnot, with no success. No appointments were available at the Apple store for days. We planned to take it in to a new shop near the house when we returned from Columbia. Remember the five hour drive? We didn’t make it.

 

So the next day after surgery I went directly to the computer repair store and left the computer for diagnostics. The verdict: the hard drive was corrupted and my data was unrecoverable. They could replace the drive, but my Tea Talks, my nutrition course data, my administrative forms for work – gone. Why? I know I should have backed it up, but God could have worked this out for me, right? Why was he saying no?

 

What my computer probably looks like right now…

Then Auntie A suggested a computer place that had fixed my mother-in-law’s computer with a similar problem as mine. Perry and I rushed to the shop, picked up the dead computer, and drove to the other computer store just before they closed. They seemed more positive and said they’d let me know in a day or two. At this point, neither of us had eaten and Whole Foods was nearby, so we went there to pick up dinner. When we put the food in the car I reached around the seat and ripped a hole in my favorite sweater. At this point, I was ready to lock myself in a rubber room before anything else happened. Yes, I’m being dramatic and yes, I understand that things could be much, much worse. But I was pretty over it anyway.

 

 

 

WHAT in the WORLD was going on? Is this a test? Is God trying to see if I’m really committed to him or if I’ll go back to relying on myself? (Yes, I actually read Job the day after the eclipse. I felt a little silly, but I needed to remember who was the human and who was God.) Did I do something wrong and am being punished?

It’s all about how I handle “no”. When I tell my children “no”, there are multiple reactions that I can and do get – having an attitude, crying, sulking, a fit. There’s really only one I’m looking for – trust. Know that I’m making a decision for your good, and follow my lead. I’m the mommy and I actually know what’s best here, ok? So why is it so hard for me to accept no when I hear it? Because that means something is not going the way I think it should. And I think I know the best way.

 

So here’s what I came to. Does God really know the best way or not? I think he does. Perry decided that if he had made a decision and we left the park, we would have seen the eclipse and he wished he had done that. What if God was helping Perry to see a way he supposed to change? While we were watching the clouds, I said something about leaving before the eclipse, but didn’t insist. And after, I absolutely was not going to say anything about it. That would have been like throwing gasoline on a fire. What if God was helping me to be more interested in loving Perry and the kids instead of being “right” about moving for the eclipse? What if the kids watching me cry helped them to be more honest with their emotions? What if they learn to deal with disappointment with us through this? Maybe I gained more than I lost this week…

 

 

Well, how’d it turn out? I sewed up the hole in my sweater, and while it’s not as good as it was, the repair is on the back of an arm, so you can’t see it much and I can still wear it. We’re looking forward to the next North American eclipse (2024) and are playing with the idea of traveling to an earlier one. Hey, gotta try for the kiddos, right? (Wink!) And the computer? They tell me they may have been able to recover my data and install a new hard drive. I’ll pick it up tomorrow and check it out. So all’s well? Yes and no. I’m still disappointed I didn’t see the eclipse, but I’m not bitter. And I’ve learned a lot about computers this week (and the importance of backing them up!). And I’ve grown in trusting God in these small things, even when the answer is no.

 

What about you? How do you handle no? Please share in the comments below!

 

(For those of you who want to know if we saw anything at the eclipse, the photo at the very top of the post is us at the eclipse at 2:37 pm. Looks like sunset, doesn’t it?)